I AM THEIR FATHER…I WILL BE

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.   Real fathers understand the seriousness of their roles as fathers.

1.    They do not shirk their responsibilities.  They stand on the wall.

2.    They do not retreat in fear.  They face the enemy with courage.

3.    They do not make excuses.  They make successes of their children.

4.    They do not succumb to temptations.  They cause the devil to flee.

5.    They do not get overwhelmed with self.  They give up all for their family.

 

B.   To do these things, fathers have to possess some very important qualities.

 

C.   Let’ examine some of these qualities under the title:  “I Am Their Father…I Will Be.”

 

I.             I WILL BE LOVING AND KIND

 

A.   The Bible exhorts us to possess each of these qualities.

1.    John 15:17

 

These things I command you, that ye love one another.

 

2.    Ephesians 4:32a

 

And be ye kind one to another…

 

3.    It is interesting that one of the qualities Paul associates with love is kindness (1 Cor. 13:4).

 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind…

 

B.   Two points:

1.    One elderly man was asked what the secret was to his long 70-year marriage to his wife.  His simple answer was:  “Be kind.”

2.    If children know we truly love them, they will overlook some of our quirks, shortcomings, mistakes, and sins.

 

II.           I WILL BE CLEAR AND FIRM

 

A.   In this section, we have reference to the rules of the house.

 

B.   When rules are set, make certain they are clear.

1.    Example:

a.    A father tells his son to cut the grass.

b.    He asks:  Is that clear?

c.    The son answers:  Yes.

d.    When the father gets home, the grass is not cut.

e.    He disciplines his son.

f.     And his son says:  Dad, I had every intention of cutting the grass at 6 o’clock when it is a little cooler and the backyard has shade.

g.    If the father had wanted the yard cut by the time he got home, he should have made that clear.

2.    As our Father, God makes things very clear (Ex., the command to Saul to destroy the Amalekites, 1 Sam. 15:3).

Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.

 

C.   Be firm in the enforcement of the rules.

1.    Confront when rules are violated.

2.    Punish the violation quickly.

3.    God confronted Saul through the prophet Samuel as he returned from his “victory” (1 Sam. 15:19).

 

Wherefore then didst thou not obey the voice of the LORD, but didst fly upon the spoil, and didst evil in the sight of the LORD?

 

4.    Ecclesiastes 8:11

 

Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

 

III.         I WILL BE CONSISTENT AND JUST

 

A.   One of the most difficult things to practice as an authority figure is consistency.

1.    We have different relationships with each child.

2.    The circumstances are different.

3.    How we feel physically and emotionally comes into play.

4.    Who is around at the time.

5.    How the child responds to us.

 

B.   If a father is going to be successful, the children must know that he is consistent.

 

C.   God the Father did not let Moses slide when he violated His will in the wilderness. He was just as firm in disciplining Moses’ sin as He was when He disciplined the people for their sins (See Num. 20:12).

 

And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.

 

D.   Along with consistency, there must be the execution of that which is just.

1.    We might describe “just” as that which is both fitting and fair.

2.    One of the best ways to do this is to always attach a punishment to the offence when rules are established.  This leaves the choice in the hands of the child.  Either choose to obey or choose the punishment.

3.    Proverbs 20:7

 

The just man walketh in his integrity:  his children are blessed after him.

 

IV.         I WILL BE PRESENT AND ACTIVE

 

A.   Satan has learned how to make our fathers ineffective even though they are technically “in the home.”

1.    Keep them busy.

2.    Keep them selfish with their own toys, hobbies, and recreation.

3.    Keep them struggling with problems in the home.

 

B.   To be effective, the father has to be both present and active in the home.

1.    He must be physically there.

2.    He must be doing what needs to be done:  playing, counseling, teaching, disciplining, comforting, doctoring, encouraging, etc.

 

C.   Paul fathered many children in the gospel.

1.    He understood the need to be present with the Christians he had taught.

2.    He wrote letters to them.  In many of those letters he noted both his desire to be with them and the plans he had to see them.

a.    Romans (Rom. 15:28-29)

b.    Corinthians (1 Cor. 11:34).

3.    If Paul could not personally go, he would send others so he could know of their state (Ex., Timohty to the Philippians, Phil. 2:19).

 

But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheous shortly unto you, that I also may be of good comfort, when I know of your state.

 

V.           I WILL BE COMPASSIONATE AND FORGIVING

 

A.   Compassion is the ability to suffer with another person.  As adults, all of us should be able to suffer with children. 

1.    We were children in the past.

a.    We were ignorant.

b.    We were a little reckless.

c.    We were a little irresponsible.

d.    We were a little rebellious.

e.    We were a little disrespectful.

2.    Having been children, we can have compassion on our children (Ex., the father of the prodigal son, Luke 15:20).

 

And he arose, and came to his father.  But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

 

B.   It is compassion that enables a person to extend forgiveness when it is needed (Ex., the father of the prodigal son, Luke 15:22-23).

 

But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his finger, and shoes on his feet:  and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry.

 

C.   Without compassion and forgiveness, a person feels only rejection.  Too, he will not seek a new life.  He will simply continue in his sins and iniquities wondering:  “What’s the use?”

 

VI.         I WILL BE SPIRITUAL AND EXEMPLARY

 

A.   In our previous lesson, we noted that God formed the home, established the roles within the home, and gave His Word to guide the home.  This being the case, it is only natural to assume that God wants godly men leading the home.

 

B.   NOTE:  It is possible to be a Christian and fail to be truly spiritual (Ex., the Corinthians, 1 Cor. 3:1, 3).

 

And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ…For ye are yet carnal…

 

1.    In chapter 1, verse 2, he addressed them as “the church of God which is at Corinth.”

2.    Even though they were Christians, their lives did not manifest spirituality.  They were still carnal and fleshly.

 

C.   This can be true of fathers in the home.  They have obeyed the gospel, but they are not really spiritual.

1.    They do not study.

2.    They do not pray.

3.    They are careless about their worship.

4.    They are not laborers in the vineyard.

5.    Basically, they are Christians in name only.

 

D.   When a man reaches spiritual maturity, he also understands the need to be an example to his children (1 Cor. 11:1).

 

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

 

1.    As the father to these Christians, Paul exhorted them to follow him.

2.    All fathers ought to be able to tell their children the same thing.

a.    Think as I think.

b.    Say as I say.

c.    Do as I do.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.   There are a host of other qualities fathers need to posses.

1.    Patience and longsuffering

2.    Lowliness and humility

3.    Contentment and joy

4.    Courage and tenacity

5.    Purity and holiness

6.    Endurance and hope

 

B.   Father must commit to both doing and being.

1.    In our first lesson, we talk about what fathers must commit to do.

2.    In this lesson, we have examined some of the things fathers must commit to be.

 

C.   No man will ever be perfect.

1.    He has a wife to support him.

2.    He has a God to secure him.

3.    He has the Word of God to guide him.

 

D.   Genesis 18:19

 

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.