THE FATHER I WANT TO BE

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.   Genesis 4:1

 

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.

 

1.    At that moment, Eve became the first mother.  In fact, her name recognizes her as “the mother of all living” (Gen. 3:20).

2.    At the same time, Adam became a father.  He was not the father of all living.  God possessed that honor (See Luke 3:38).

 

B.   Since the dawn of time, fathers and mothers have brought children into the world.

1.    Some are young, and some are old.

2.    Some are mature, and some are immature.

3.    Some are rich, and some are poor.

4.    Some are educated, and others possess little education.

5.    Some are good, and some are bad.

 

C.   Most of us in this audience have assumed one of these roles, either as a mother or as a father.

1.    As we parent, we pay little attention to the qualities, the rules, and the details of being a mother or father.

2.    As we age, we look back upon our days of parenting and realize that we should have done some things a little differently.

a.    This isn’t to say that we were horrible parents.

b.    It simply means that we come to understand that are some standards that we wish we had met that would have enabled us to be better than we were.

 

D.   Today is Father’s Day. 

1.    Fathers are a Bible topic. 

2.    There is nothing wrong with taking this time to address a topic that is on the minds of many people.

3.    The title of this lesson is;  “The Father I Want to Be.”

 

I.             I WANT TO BE A FRIEND OF GOD

 

A.   In James 2:23, Abraham is called “the Friend of God.”

 

And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness:  and he was called the Friend of God.

 

B.   The words, “friend of God,” indicate an intimate, loving, special relationship between two individuals.  NOTE:  They are not enemies.

 

C.   We might believe that being labeled “the Friend of God” is something that involves our meeting some stringent qualifications.  This, however, is not the case.  Jesus reveals exactly how we can become a friend of God in John 15:14.

 

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

 

1.    Obedience is the key.

2.    It is the thing that caused Abraham to be the friend of God.

 

D.   When I think of being a friend of Jesus, the last part of Proverbs 18:24 comes to mind.

 

…and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

 

II.           I WANT TO BE A COMPETENT PROVIDER

 

A.   I Timothy 5:8

 

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

 

B.   There are two words found in this element of fatherhood.

1.    Provider:  the word in the Greek language means “one who makes, one who bears, one who produces.”

2.    Competent:  suitable, sufficient, adequate

 

C.   We need fathers who can adequately produce for those in their homes.

1.    Food, clothing, and shelter (Note:  These are the things God the Father promises us, if we put Him first, Matt. 6:25-34).

2.    Two thoughts:

a.    The father is not required to provide exceptionally for this family. 

1)    Hamburgers and fries versus steak and lobster

2)    3 BR, 2B house versus a mansion with an ocean view

3)    Vacations in campers to State Parks versus international travel

b.    To provide competently today still takes a lot of money.  A man needs to prepare himself to be able to provide.

1)    Debt leads to strains within the home.

2)    One of the major causes of divorce involves financial problems.

 

III.         I WANT TO BE AN ULTIMATE EXAMPLE

 

A.   The need for examples is stressed in the Bible.

1.    Paul told Timothy to be an example of the believers (1 Tim. 4:12).

2.    Paul exhorted the church at Corinth to follow his example (1 Cor. 11:1).

3.    Jesus was an example to His disciples (John 13:15; Acts 1:1). 

 

B.   A good father needs to be an example to his children.

1.    A good example spiritually

2.    A good example of morality

3.    A good example of attitude

4.    A good example in finances

5.    A good example of a hard worker

6.    A good example in suffering

7.    A good example in giving to and serving others

 

C.   Being an example means that our actions harmonize with our words.

1.    We walk the walk as well as talk the talk.

2.    We refuse to play the role of a hypocrite.

3.    What we say is important is manifested in our lives.

 

D.   Many Jews often fell short when it came to being a good example.  Their lives, therefore, did not have a positive impact upon the Gentiles who were watching them (Rom. 2:24).

 

For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written.

 

IV.         I WANT TO BE A MASTER TEACHER

 

A.   Ephesians 6:4

 

And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:  but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

 

B.   A fathers are called to be the spiritual instructor in the home.

1.    He begins with his example that we just discussed. 

2.    He intentionally teaches his children on a daily basis.

3.    He makes application of God’s Word to the lives of his children as they share their lives together.

4.    He corrects their course when necessary.

 

C.   Points:

1.    Daily instruction is not found in most homes.  Thus, each father is going to have to be intensely focused on how to set up a teaching schedule in the home.

2.    It is impossible to teach what you do not know.  The father must become well educated in God’s Word.

3.    You can teach what you do not live, but that teaching will not be sincerely believed and accepted by children. 

4.    When you seek to train your children spiritually, there will be opposition.  Don’t let the naysayers, the complainers, and the critics stop you from teaching your children the ways of God.  Be an Abraham (Gen. 18:19a).

 

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord…

 

V.           I WANT TO BE THE PERFECT DISCIPLINARIAN

 

A.   Children come to us as blank slates. 

1.    They must be molded and developed.

2.    Part of the molding process involves discipline.

3.    Hebrews 12:9a

 

Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence…

 

B.   Discipline is never easy for a father.

1.    What type of disciple?

2.    How to discipline when we are angry?

3.    How long should discipline last?

4.    Discipline is not usually immediately appreciated by the child.

5.    There must be fairness, but each child is different.

 

C.   Most fathers will never be “perfect” disciplinarians, but they should never cease being disciplinarians.

 

D.   The wise, inspired penmen of Proverbs give very good advice to fathers regarding discipline.

1.    Proverbs 13:24

 

He that spareth his rod hateth his son:  but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

 

2.    Proverbs 22:15

 

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

 

3.    Proverbs 23:13-14

 

Withhold not correction from the child:  for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

 

4.    Proverbs 29:15

 

The rod and reproof give wisdom:  but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

 

VI.         I WANT TO BE AN UNDERSTANDING COUNSELOR

 

A.   The position of a teacher is a different position than that of a counselor.

1.    A teacher provides instruction and understanding of the law.

2.    A counselor assists in the proper application of that law to real life circumstances.

 

B.   1 Thessalonians 2:11

 

As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.

 

1.    The father deals with problems.

2.    The father deals with hurts.

3.    The father deals with failures.

4.    The father deals with attitudes.

5.    The father deals with emotions.

 

C.   During the ministry of Jesus, we see Him acting as a father on numerous occasions.

1.    His correction of Peter on numerous occasions.

2.    His counsel to Martha when she was anxious about serving her guests.

3.    His caution regarding false teachers and persecutors.

4.    His charge to the apostles regarding power and authority.

5.    His consultation of the disciples when powerful examples presented themselves.

 

VII.       I WANT TO BE A CONSTANT PRAYER WARRIOR

 

A.   James teaches us that “the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).

 

B.   A father, as a friend of God, will approach his Friend often in prayer on behalf of his children.

 

1.    Keep them from the evil one.

2.    Forgive their trespasses.

3.    Strengthen their faith.

4.    Increase their usefulness in the kingdom.

5.    Help them maintain their priorities.

6.    Keep them focused on the world to come.

7.    Give them the ability to overcome hardship and obstacles.

8.    Put spiritual people in their lives, especially their spouses.

9.    Give them the wisdom to train the next generation.

10. Fill them with courage to be spiritual warriors and with kindness to be humble servants.

 

C.   Father must trust Jesus’ words found in Matthew 7:7-8.

 

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find:  knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

 

                   In other words, we must sincerely believe that prayer works.

 

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.   If we have children, the position of a father never comes to an end.

1.    Certain aspects of fatherhood may diminish (Ex., discipline).

2.    When this happens, other elements are usually raised in importance (Ex., counsel).

 

B.   As a father, I will never be exactly what I want to be, or, what God wants me to be, but I must continue to put forth the effort.

 

C.   There are many important positions that a man may occupy, but the most important position on the earth is that of a father.

1.    The heart, the souls, the minds, and the bodies of children are put into his care.

2.    He has the ability to mold, develop, and direct his children for the rest of their lives.

3.    What a father does has an influence on the lives of his children now, and in their lives eternally in the hereafter.

 

D.   With education, attention, discipline, and the help of God, we can be good fathers, special fathers, and spiritual fathers to our children.