OceanSide church of Christ

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BE COURTEOUS

Victor M. Eskew

 

            The word “courteous” is only found in time in the Bible.  Peter exhorts Christians to “be courteous” in I Peter 3:8.  This exhortation is contained in a list of actions that Peter admonishes his readers to perform.  “Finally, be ye all of the one mind, having compassion one of another; love as brethren, be pitiful. be courteous.”  One of the things that is lacking in our present culture is courtesy.  It has even left the body of Christ in many ways.  In this article, let’s look at courtesy and how we can apply it to some things within the church.

            The Greek work translated courtesy in I Peter 3:8 means:  “friendly of mind” or “kind” according to Strong’s Analytical Concordance and Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon.  Dictionary.com defines “courteous” as “having or showing good manners, polite.”  Courtesy comes from an Old French term, curteis, that means:  “having courtly bearing or manners.”  Dictionary.com gives us some insight into the concept of “courtly bearing.”  They explain:  “Medieval courts were associated with good behavior” (www.dictionary.com). 

            From these definitions, we come to see that being courteous involves the way in which we treat others.  We should be friendly and kind to others.  We need to be polite to others.  We need to demonstrate good manners to others.  Our speech, our body language, and our actions need to have a “courtly bearing” when we are interacting with others. 

            Most of us remember the “old days” when courtesy was extended to others.  Doors were opened for women.  Others were allowed to speak first.  Foul language was never used in public.  The words, “excuse me,” and, “thank you,” were used often in public.  Gentlemen walked on the curb side of the sidewalk if they were with a lady.  Handshakes were always extended to others.  Bad habits were forbidden in public.  One would never think of walking past another without some form of acknowledgement.  All of these things involved courtesy. 

            If we were to ask members of the church:  “Should we be courteous to one another?”, all would answer in the affirmative.  We would answer this way for two reasons.  We say:  “Yes,” because we know the Bible teaches us to be courteous.  We would also say:  “Yes,” because most of us were taught by our parents to be courteous.  How many of us can hear our parents saying:  “Don’t forget your manners,” or, “Mind your manners.”  However, what we know and what we do can be different.  It easy to know to be courteous, yet fail to practice courtesy to others.  Let’s look at some things we can do in the church in order to improve our courtesy with one another.

 

1.      We can be on time to worship.  Coming in late disrupts the worship of others.

2.      We can raise our hands in Bible class.  Speaking out of turn butts in on others.

3.      We can be early if we have to serve.  The one organizing should not have to worry about us.

4.      We can call early if we are going to be absent.  This applies to those serving and teachers.

5.      We can sit down and talk with those with whom we disagree.  This is Bible (Matt. 18:15).

6.      We should try to speak with all and ignore no one.

7.      We should use words like:  “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me.”

8.      We can be of assistance to others.

9.      We can pick up after ourselves when we make a mess.

10.  We can sit elsewhere when someone takes our pew without huffing and puffing.

11.  We should stay for the entire worship service instead of leaving early.

12.  We can let others have their way in matters or option.

13.  We don’t let our children run around the building unsupervised after services.

14.  We remain patient when various aspects of the worship are going over time.

15.  We do not talk, check our telephones, and play games during the worship service.

16.  We take an active part in Bible class by doing our homework and participating in discussion.

17.  We do not huddle in our same little clichés week after week after services.  We talk to all.

18.  We willingly pick up trash from the floor and dispose of it.

19.  We refuse to use rude, sarcastic remarks to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

20.  We are longsuffering with those who mess up, make mistakes, or irritate us.

 

These are just a few things that we can do to manifest courtesy one to another.  We need to read this list and ask ourselves:  “Which of these things can I do better?”  Often times, the change that needs to be made is minor.  It does not take much time, effort, or money.  However, the change causes us to practice Peter’s command to “be courteous.” 

            Christians ought to be the friendliest, kindest, and most courteous people on the planet.  They should show courtesy to the world.  They certainly should not forget to be courteous when with their brethren.  When courtesy exists in the local church, there is a much more positive environment that exists.  It causes people to desire to be in our fellowship.  When there is a lack of courtesy, coldness and rudeness seems to rule supreme.  No one wants to be in such an environment. It is not productive to growth, numerically or spiritually.  Let’s all seek to give heed to Peter’s words:  “Be courteous.”